We went to a marvelous party!

Photo of the Shah's new house - designed by Snehel Shah

Well, it was two parties really; our hosts in Ahmedabad, Snehel and Sujata Shah asked us if we would like to go to part of the marriage celebrations of the daughter of Snehel's cousin. The Shah family is large and very close and there are many Uncles, Aunts and cousins.

Of course we were really delighted to be asked to join in the celebrations, it is marriage season here and we have seen and heard many wedding parties as we have traveled about, to see more at close quaters was a priviledge not to be missed. Also, because of our 'traveling light' policy it meant that the shopping embargo was well and truly broached, because we could not go to two wedding party evenings looking only slightly better than tramps (at least in the very well dressed context of an Indian wedding). Brian, as previously reported had a silk Kurta and a nice pair of white trousers made. I had bought some fabric in Udapuir and had that and some more fabric I bought in A'bad made into two 'Punjabi' suits (its what they call the top with split sides worn over trousers here). I needed two though Brian could get away with one outfit and his smartest Rohan trousers and shirt for evening no 1.

Evening one (for us, it was about evening 4 for the brides and grooms family) was an evening of music and dance put on by the Grooms family. We drove quite a long way out of A'bad to a sort of country club. There was a stage and the biggest buffet supper you can possibly imagine. The catering at these do's is on a very grand scale and so slick. Tables staffed with chaps who might be cooking rice pancakes or puris or chapati, others with heated serving dishes with about 5 varieties of different curry, salads, relishes, rice, dahls and some things like soups, bruchetta, pasta etc etc,all vegetarian all delicious. You go round with a huge plate and a spoon and are served small portions of everything and encouraged to go back for more of anything you really like and then there is pudding, at this event it was a very nice chocolate cake. As Jains are vegan and teetotal the drink is water, pepsi, fruit juice, Indian tea (spiced, sweet, with the milk already in it) or coffee.

After eating and talking the party all drift over to the seated area to watch the show, the gathering is of at least 400 people, all related to the bride or groom or very close friends. The show, lasting about three hours is a mixture of professional singers and musicians doing a mixture of film music and Indian oldies but goldies and younger members of the family (bride and groms age) who do dance routines and put on a cod quiz show called 'Perfect Partner' and based on 'Do you want to be a millionaire?' Everyone sings along to the oldies but goldies and the evening ends about 1.30am with dancing to the band. By about 10.30 its begining to get a little chilly so at the rear of the audience some braziers are lit and the old (and those who hadn't the forethought to bring a warm top) sit around them and talk.

Every woman at this event is dressed to tha 9's. Jewelery (real not costume) glitters on arms and ears and at throats. The gleam of high carrat gold is soft and luminous, red beads really are rubies and the earings have to be seen to be believed. Women are dressed in a variety of styles, saris of every hue you can immagine, punjabis, dresses with high waists and gored skirts worn over tight trousers (like the outfits you may have seen in Indian minature paintings), there are also Rhajestani style outfits of full skirt, tight blouse and a length of fabric sort of wrapped round the waist and up over the shoulders. Seqins glitter, gold and silver brocade falls in elegant folds, little girls skip about in pretty skirts and blouses and silver or gold sandles.

Many of the men have also put a lot of effort into their dress. Many wear Kurtas, some wild silk, some made of fantastic brocade in all sorts of colours, trousers are often quite theatricly baggy and of a different colour to the Kurta, almost everyone wears sandals.

The next day was the actual wedding ceremony. All the women had stepped up their outfits and the jewelery was even more dazzling, I really have never seen anything like the display put on by Indian women at a big wedding, they looked fabulous.

The bride arrives and is danced into the wedding ground by her family to the noise of a very loud band. The groom arrives in a car covered in flowers and they are both escorted in. The guests sit around the sacred area (where the priest conducts the ceremony) chatting, eating delicious snacks, listening to musicians playing traditional music while the ceremony carries on under the tent in the middle. The ceremony takes about an hour and a quarter and is quite complicated, ending up with the bride and groom being tied together with a red rope and then a pink scarf and doing 7 (I think) circuits of the sacred area, the groom leads for 4 times and the bride for 3, signifying that this is a partnership.

Then the bride leaves with her new husband and his family (she returns after an hour or so) the guests all mill about and talk. There are at least 750 people so there are plenty of people to talk to. Later the bride and groom come back, more friends and business associates arrive and the huge buffet is served. Much like the night before but more of it!! While guests are eating the bridal party sit on a dias and receive their guests, much shaking of hands, embracing and taking photos. The bridal party and their close family (100 or so people) sit down to eat at about nine, after everyone else has had the buffet.

We left at about 9.30pm, our hosts did not get back till midnight and they have the final function of the week long event this evening!

Sorry this is a bit long, hope you find it interesting,

Tess

I don't think I will ever forget the scene as we arrived. The band was in full pelt, the young men and women dancing - particularly the young men forming circles, hands in the air, gyrating, it was a complete thrill to be part of the accompanying throng moving towards the marriage ground.

There were some very touching points of the actual ceremony (Sujata had persuaded us to sit with the close family in the front row so whilst most of the guests sat further back enjoying chatting and the excellent Indian classical music Tess and I could have a very good view of the actual ceremony - with relatives explaining what was going on from time to time). Tess has mentioned the seven steps taken by the bride and groom, there was also the point at which the two fathers came forward, sat close facing each other and placed food in each others mouths signifying that the marriage was the joining of the two families and not just the two young people. The ceremony was conducted by the priest and two assistants with a complex series of symbolic acts involving fire, liquids, flowers etc and all the while the priest explaining to the groom and bride the significance of each act and how it provided guidance to them in their future lives.

Afterwards as the only non Indians there we were constantly approached - particularly by Indians who had lived in England - for a chat. The atmosphere was quite unlike any English gathering, the ability of Indians to explain exactly how they are related to each other is astounding - it made my head spin to try to keep track and I had to observe that the complete lack of alchohol was a definite advantage, just copious amounts of excellent food and trays of cold water brought to you every few minutes. We had many good discussions about India, its economic growth of which Gujartis are very proud - and of course of the success of Slumdog Millionaire about which they also take great pleasure! Two days we will certainly not forget!

Brian